Deciding to Comment
This year, a friend gave me a book called Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. Each day there is an inspirational message, a profound thought, or a simple message to reflect upon. I've been reading it daily, for several weeks now, and find so much wisdom in it that I have to force myself NOT to blog about it daily and NOT to re-write her work for all to see. With the New Year about to happen, I feel nudged to post some thoughts and wonder how the rest of you feel about the ending of a year and beginning of a new one. I hope you will share your thoughts with me.
A case of year end grumpies
The Author (Sarah Ban Breathnach), from her unseen place in the universe, called me out in her message for 12/29. She writes " Today is the day the post-holiday blues usually drop in for their annual visit." Not that I had the blues per say, but I did have a mild case of the grumpies that was just under the surface and never would have admitted it if she hadn't caught me in the act.
As she points out, whether we are aware of it or not, we are balancing our personal books and tallying up the profits and losses. This is a time of year that we look back to see if we achieved our goals, surrender to expectations unmet, try to come to terms with situations we couldn't change, or just begin to acknowledge we could have made changes but chose not to. Even for those of us who have just completed a wonderful year, we still look back and find times we wished were different, adding a bit of melancholy to our moods.
No matter how great our year was, we are losing it. It will be gone forever. Pay no mind that a new one is coming. It is our nature to grieve a bit over the losses we had, no matter how small, and the fact that time has moved on never to be recovered.
She also notes that "we" are probably not feeling very well (physically) at this time of year, and should not be surprised if we have colds or chest congestion now (which I do, adding to my grumpiness). The author tells that "practitioners of Eastern medicine expect these illness in winter; metaphysically the lung is the organ that processes grief". Old pain, she says, has become a familiar friend (not a nurturing one) by now and is very difficult to release.
I think that having the grumpies, or feeling down, is natural part of the season; the ebb and flow of energy. Weeks of hype for the season, shopping, cooking, parties, family and activity all around us. In the final day or so before Christmas, my personal energy is draining and I find myself longing for the first week of January. Yet, when it all quiets down the few days after Christmas, it is quite a no-man's land for me. Not the relief I was expecting.
I don't rest as well as I thought I might. I don't want to shop, yet I want to be out. I need to clean, but I don't want to. I don't want to go visiting but I don't want to be home. Then, this all starts a mental discussion about how to get out of the funk and make the New Year even better than the last creating more stress and grumpiness. I just want to tell myself to SHUT UP!
Advice: Treat Yourself Kindly
The advice seems simple: when this (holiday blues/grumpies/letdown)happens, remember to treat yourself kindly. This is a time to trust, not to form judgements.
Trust that the kids will go back to school. Trust that the bills will get paid, the work will get done, the tree and decorations will get put away. Things will go back to normal.
Thank you Ms. Breathnacht, I was waiting for someone to recognize the problem and give me permission to fix it.
For me, treating myself kindly meant that yesterday I spent the day walking in the snowy woods, reading a book for hours, going to a movie at night, and letting the dishes and laundry wait.
It also means that I will not try to plan my new year today. I will not set any intentions today. I will not outline goals with dates and project notes. I will not rush around trying to beat the clock so my place is spotless by midnight (however I will vacuum up the dog hair - ugh!).
I WILL recognize that I need a bit more time to rest and enjoy whatever THIS day brings to me. I will not FORCE this day to happen as I have tried to force other days to happen.
Today, this last day of 2012, I intend to just notice the beauty of life as it is right now - not as it was or will be. I will be mindful of the miracle of my breath as it goes in and out of my body. I will observe the wind on my skin and wonder how it all works. I will try to see without judgement. A dog, a car, a business, a person. No judgement - just seeing - just observing. That, in itself, should free up a lot of mental chatter!
Tomorrow may never come. All I have is now. And I'm setting out to experience this time, the last day of 2012, with a fresh spirit, new eyes and a cough drop and a tissue.
Gotta keep it real. . . .
Happy Last Day of 2012 to all my friends and family.
Jackie
A few weeks ago, I posted a Christmas wish on the Mood Fabrics Facebook page that said something like this:
Dear Mood - all I want for Christmas is to win one day at Mood with a Project Runway designer to help me select fabric for sewing garments. PS - I'll even pay my own expenses!
Well, on Wednesday (12/19) I was at the end of my "sisters" trip and took off for the morning to fabric shop while they did more sight seeing. I got off the elevator at Mood and in the corner, I saw women taking photos with a Project Runway designer Kooan Kosuke. I just marveled at seeing a celebrity at Mood and tried to keep a respectable distance when I really just wanted to run up and ask for an autograph, but didn't.
As I was looking at the velvets, I heard a voice say "Can I help you?" and honest to Pete - it was him! I'd forgotten that Mood had recently hired Kooan to work at the store, and here he was before me, sales apron on with a giant smile ready to help!!
I was almost speechless! He helped me select a velvet and a tafeta and we talked about design elements for those, and a few other fabric choices. Pleated collar and cuffs? Yes - maybe.
We also talked about his current work, his desire to create a line for consumers, which would use other skills and require a different thought process to his normal designing. He does costumes mostly, and now working at Mood. He did say that when he creates non-costume garments, that he puts so much of himself and time into the garment, it is very hard for him to part with it.
So, my wish came true! I got the help of a Project Runway designer in a very short time after I placed my wish order with the Universe.
May you all be blessed with great dreams, and have strong visions of the life you desire. That is all you need to start the energy flowing, creating the environment to give you what you seek. But don't forget YOUR part in the process.
I had to get myself to NYC and walk myself to Mood before the magic could happen!
TTFN!
Jackie
Yesterday, I was at Rite Aid looking for a small bottle of pain reliever. What I really wanted was Excedrin. I LOVE how well Excedrin works for me. Never mind the generic or off brands, I love Excedrin.
Many months ago, I went to pick up a bottle and to my dismay, the shelves were empty. Someone told me that all the Excedrin products had been recalled and none were to be had. Around August, I gave up looking for it, and hadn't thought about it until yesterday.
Yesterday, I was longing for, wishing for, the return of Excedrin and wondering when, if ever, it was coming back. I had an entire mental conversation (at least I hope it was a silent discussion in my head) about what could have gone wrong at Excedrin? When was it coming back? Is it like Twinkies and Cupcakes now? Maybe I need to do a little Internet research and see if it was coming back soon.
Then, I simply forgot about it until today.
I opened my mail and there was a small, mysterious box. You guessed it! A bottle of Excedrin with a $1.00 coupon for a purchase and a Thank You from Rite Aid for being a valued customer!! I guess Excedrin is back!
In case you are an Excedrin lover, here is a link you might be interested in: Excedrin
I have to say, that in this particular case, I must have had my antenna up and got some "inside" info from the Universe. Kind of a pre-knowing I guess.
The only other explanation is that I sent out such a powerful "need" vibration that the Universe delivered as fast as it could without seeming un-natural.
Anyone else out there have a recent, similar experience to share? What is the last time you recall thinking about something, only to have it appear in very short order? Would love to hear your story - please share.
TTFN
Jackie (who is giddy over a little bottle of Excedrin - imagine if I won the lottery!)
This weekend, I flew on 4 planes to get to and from a wedding in South Dakota. I had various experiences on all of them.
On the last flight, I sat there thinking "boy, I wish the Airlines would offer me a satisfaction survey after each flight. Would be nice to have some venue for offering comments, ideas and relay experiences. Wonder when they will get on the ball and do that like the rest of the world?"
So today, I open my email, and there is the survey link for Delta! Cooincidence? Hah! I think my antennas were up and I linked into the Universe and grabbed that email while it was on it's way to me!
There you have it. Just another musing about the "cooincidences" in my life.
Anyone else have something like this happen recently?
PS - to be fair, I must also tell you I had a very vivid dream about being turned into a zombie. So far, that hasn't happened yet. However, I do think it is an interesting way for my psyche to show me the difference between "getting" reliable data from the universe, and getting the standard ridiculous, random vibes that are floating around out there. Yet, I am still a bit skittish about unknow folks who are trying to engage me in conversation. . .
TTFN
Jackie
Seems that my psychic antennas are up these days, more than usual. Today, I went to visit a dear friend who is struggling to get well from cancer, chemo and complications. It was also her birthday today. Before going to visit, I called her and asked if she would like a cupcake to celebrate and to my utter delight(because, you see, I wanted a cupcake too, and needed a really good excuse to get one), she said "yes" !
We decided on the flavors and moved on to lunch. I asked what she wanted from the bagel place and took her order of a cinnamon raisin bagel with plain cream cheese.
While standing in line, I was looking at the menu board that I've seen about a thousand times (can you tell it is my favorite sandwich & bagel place?) and was about to order my standard turkey on rye bread when I suddenly noticed HARD SALAMI.
I thought "oh gosh! I didn't know they have hard salami!" And that started a huge dialogue in my head about all of a sudden wanting a hard salami sandwich on a salt bagel. The dialogue became an argument, and I was fighting with the devil inside me who was screaming out for the salami and the angel said - no way - stick with the turkey....
Because I was holding up the line, with the silent bickering in my head, looking like an idiot, I just took the turkey and my friend's cream cheese bagel and went off to visit. As we sat there eating our lunch, she chewed on the cinnamon bagel and said thoughtfully "this is good, but I wish I had gone with my craving".
What craving?
"Oh", she said wistfully "I really wanted a hard salami on a bagel, but I thought it would not be so healthy for me, so I settled for the cream cheese. Wish I had the salami!"
So there it was. 1000 times I've stood in front of that menu board and never saw the salami (which i L-O-V-E). Today, my dear friend craves salami and I must have tuned in on it.
The good news, is that I still have strong intuitive tendencies, but the bad news is now I know the bagel place has hard salami. . . .
TTFN
Jackie
PS - My favorite bagel place is Barry Bagels! See the link and go get some salami: https://www.barrybagels.com/default.aspx
Those of you who know me, know that I dream a lot. Mostly nightmares, but sometimes not. I dream so vividly, that I can feel things, smell things, dream in color and often know I'm dreaming while the dream is going on. Lots of times, I have recurring dreams. So here is one for those of you who like to interpret dreams or just don't want to feel like you are all alone out there with weirdness!
In the early morning hours, between 5:30 and 8:00 a.m. (I looked at the clock a few times) I dreamt I was in a big church with my mom, who passed away when I was 27, and my youngest daughter who is in her late 20's now. Turns out we were looking at the church for the possibility of holding a wedding there - my wedding.
This is where I first got disoriented because I tried to tell my mom and daughter I WAS already married, but they would not hear of it. We toured the church and I vividly saw my self humoring them, going through the motions thinking how fun it would be to have another wedding, party and dress and all.
We walked from one part of the church, directly into a room full of ladies who happened to be girls from my high school days. Not really my friends, but girls I knew. I was suddenly aware that this was a bridal shower for me and one of the girls in charge was also confused. She thought the shower was for someone else, but was going to be a good sport and let me be the "bride" at the event. No one else seemed confused, and my mom and daughter thought this was all going as planned.
Suddenly, I was being rushed out of the room as it was made known to me that I was late for dressing for the wedding. Rushing out of the room, I found myself alone in a department store/country club, with two male friends, one from my past and one from my present, who were assigned to get me to the church on time - so to speak. We were literally running up the down escalators with heavy old suitcases filled with my gown and honeymoon attire. My mom and daughter were no where to be seen.
Suddenly, we were lost. And I discovered my gown was hanging out of the suitcase getting escalator grease all over it. I discovered the guys were clueless and starting to get upset. I called my mom and she talked to them giving them instructions on how to help me get ready for the wedding.
Suddenly - as all dreams do, there is never a smooth transition to any scenes - I found myself in an elegant, all wooden hallway of the "Club" and popped into my room with only minutes to spare to get made up and dressed for the wedding. My mom was calling frantic that I'd be late, yet my male companions were of little help.
My make up was running from the heat and I discovered they had packed all the wrong stuff. While I was trying to make THEM comfortable, I kept calling for my daughter to help and suddenly all hell broke lose in the corner.
Looking over to the corner of the room, I found a baby elephant (yep - I think this is where the Bob Marley Tea comes into play) that was sent to me as a wedding gift. The baby was frantic and running all over and the guys were nearly berserk. I told them to get the baby out ASAP because it had to poop (oh yeah, I know this is weird) and it had to go outside.
The guys thought I was insane and they could not understand how I knew the baby had to go, and on top of that, they could not find the door. Finally, half in my dirty gown, makeup running, I hit a button on the wall that lifted the entire wall like a garage door and the little elephant went tearing out, trailing two men on a leash behind it.
As I watched, the elegant hallway gave way to being outdoors and the baby found some gravel in the shade to do it's business. The look of relief on it's face was endearing and the guys were in shock that the entire wall opened up and the outdoors magically appeared.
I woke at that point, exhausted from the dream, hoping for another few minutes of sleep - but the phone rang and I had to get going.
I think this is what happens when you can't sleep and mix the Bob Marley tea with the melatonin tablets! Your dream analysis is more than welcome!
TTFN
Jackie
Vacuuming the patio
As I was vacuuming my patio this weekend (screened in, tile, no carpet - yet), for the third time since June 1, I had to ask myself what was going on here? Why am I suddenly, and regularly, now vacuuming my patio? And when, exactly, did outdoors become indoors?
My patio is outdoors. Granted, it is attached to my house and it does have cushioned furniture on it, but it is OUTDOORS.
Outdoors, things get pollen on them, dust blows on them, cotton wood fuzz collects on the ground all because it IS the outdoors. When you are outdoors, you can look down and see dirt - right? Sometimes you see pebbles, grass, ants and the random spider. And outdoors, stuff gets wet when it rains. That is what we expect, right? We expect patio cushions to be wet after a good rain, to be dusty from time to time, and to have an ocassional spiderweb running from leg to leg of the chair. Patios also used to be hot, cold, damp or whatever was happening outdoors in the non-patio area. And we accepted that.
The most we expected to do to our outdoor places, was an ocassion broom sweeping and dry-rag dust off of the furniture. Sometimes we bought a new candle.
Well, on my patio - that used to be "outdoors", there is now finer furniture than ever before and it has come to my attention that this nice stuff looks rather unpleasant with a layer of pollen all over it, and with dirt on the floor, and with the ocassional dust web/spider web connected to it. So it must be cleaned. Regularly. I suppose.
The new table, made of wicker has a beautiful glass top that keeps things stable from the bumpy wicker texture, but also scratches easily. So - we need placemats on the table (one long scratch made its way onto the table before anyone noticed that someone didn't use a placemat). The pollen and dust shows up very vividly on the glass, so it must be attended to almost daily. Funny, the glass tables in my house have the same issues. You'd have thought that I'd know better, right?
Then, my darling hubby noticed that the beautiful BLACK wicker furniture frames really should be vacuumed weekly to keep them from collecting dust and pollen. He pointed out that the woven structure of the wicker traps the yellow/green pollen very nicely and soon it will be difficult to clean the frames, unless we vacuum them weekly.
My DH also noted that the lovely upholstery we selected, should be vacuumed regularly to keep IT clean and free from dust and pollen and spiders and outdoor stuff.
Looking around, I decided we needed some lamps on the patio, near my chair, so I can knit, needlepoint or read when it gets dark - outside. Now, we are shopping for outdoor "artwork" and carpets!
While I was picking up light bulbs at the home store, I paused at the display of outdoor gas heaters - the kind you see at restaurants and events where they try to keep warm spots for OUTDOOR events in the cooler season. I'm thinking one or two of those will be perfect to keep me warm, on the patio, when it gets cooler outside.
To deal with the hot, hot, muggy weather this weekend, I considered keeping my sliding door open onto the patio to allow the A/C to leak out to the patio to make it more bearable to be out there on the new furniture, relaxing OUTDOORS. Something told me that might be a bad idea, so I didn't.
I've also been looking around for canvas covers for all this nice, new patio furniture, so that it can be safe during the winter periods. I guess taking the cushions inside won't be enough. Keeping the wicker protected is very important THEY say.
My final thought on this (ok maybe there will be more to come, so it might not be the FINAL thought, but I'm thinking it is close) is when it threatened rain yesterday and I dashed outside to pick up the upholstered cushions on the lounge and matching chair so they wouldn't get soaked. I even considered taking the huge hammock down to keep the canvas from getting wet. . . .
I think we've lost our minds. At least at my house. I know that some people really need the extra space outdoors and use a patio or porch to get added space for living, but in my case - - -really?
I am blessed to have almost 6,000 sq. ft. of INDOOR space that is temperature contolled year round, clean (mostly), bug free (mostly) and nicely furnished. Why then, do we feel compelled to move to an outdoor environment and try to make it as nice as if it were indoors?
The more I think on this, the more insane it sounds. Come on people, don't leave me out here on this one alone. Others must do it too, because I see all the stuff in the home stores, online, in catalogs, and at home shows that cater to making OUTSIDE more like INSIDE. What are we doing?
Hey, look. I'd like to chat with you more on this subject, but I think I just saw some dust settle on the table outside so I gotta run. If anyone knows of some doodad that will help me keep the pollen IN the plants, the dust 50 ft. from the house, and all bugs a mile away, please post.
With Swiffer in hand, heading toward the patio - again -
TTFN!
Jackie
(who seems to be her own worst enemy)
