My "senior's" Discount! Wow - that's a harsh reality check!

When checking out my groceries today, the young woman ringing my stuff said, in a matter-of-fact way "Senior discount?".

And I said "Huh?".

So she said "Today is Senior's Discount Day.  Do you get the discount?".

It took all my will not to grab her by her pretty young neck, pull her over the counter to my side and shake the living crap right out of her and shout "do I LOOK LIKE I QUALIFY FOR A FREAKING SENIOR DISCOUNT????".

But, I did not.  Choking on those other words racing through my brain and keeping my hands firmly wrapped around my cart, I managed to gracefully smile and ask "Oh, what age does one need to be in order to qualify for that discount?"

Sweetly she says "60!".  And I say back "OH!  Honey!  I've got one more year before I turn 60 and I'm gonna milk it for all I can, to the very last day.  You just keep your discount another year!"

There was a bit of giggling, some insignificant small talk going on between us as I glanced around the store and at the people in line.  I realized most of them were only about 4 1/2 feet tall, stooped over, silver-haired with big ears and pastel clothing.  I heard her yammering something about "first Tuesday in the month. . " and fought off the urge to grab my purse and check my make-up to make sure my lipstick was still inside my lip lines and my blush wasn't too round and dark on my cheeks.

Finally, she winks at me and says "Look!  I gave you the discount anyway!  You saved $9.07!  Oh, and be careful in the parking lot!"  I ask why, thinking there were robbers or something unusual out there today, but she just nodded toward a little old lady who was bumping her cart into a display and said "see, there? watch out for THEM!"

I raced home, after stopping at the tea shop to pick up some white tea (erases wrinkles you know) and went straight to the bedroom.  I looked for my 6" platform heels, my low-cut evening dress and my dangly earings.  Yep, still there.  But the question now was - do I have to wear these things to the grocery store - and stay about 10 feet back from the cashier - just to maintain some semblance of youth?

Or, do I just give in now, and accept the fact I'm more likely to be mistaken (hahaha....yep....I said MISTAKEN) for a senior than a . . . 40-something?  I did save $9.00. . . .which will buy me a great martini. . . .

Hell no. . . Iknow I'm going into old age, but I am going kicking and screaming and wearing high heels as long as I can!  Screw the discounts! 

And tomorrow, we'll talk about the email ads I keep getting for scooters and funeral planning.

Bastards!