This is what happens when you have too much Bob Marley Relax Iced Tea before bed

Those of you who know me, know that I dream a lot.  Mostly nightmares, but sometimes not.  I dream so vividly, that I can feel things, smell things, dream in color and often know I'm dreaming while the dream is going on.  Lots of times, I have recurring dreams.  So here is one for those of you who like to interpret dreams or just don't want to feel like you are all alone out there with weirdness!

In the early morning hours, between 5:30 and 8:00 a.m. (I looked at the clock a few times) I dreamt I was in a big church with my mom, who passed away when I was 27, and my youngest daughter who is in her late 20's now.  Turns out we were looking at the church for the possibility of holding a wedding there - my wedding. 

This is where I first got disoriented because I tried to tell my mom and daughter I WAS already married, but they would not hear of it.  We toured the church and I vividly saw my self humoring them, going through the motions thinking how fun it would be to have another wedding, party and dress and all.

We walked from one part of the church, directly into a room full of ladies who happened to be girls from my high school days.  Not really my friends, but girls I knew.  I was suddenly aware that this was a bridal shower for me and one of the girls in charge was also confused.  She thought the shower was for someone else, but was going to be a good sport and let me be the "bride" at the event.  No one else seemed confused, and my mom and daughter thought this was all going as planned.

Suddenly, I was being rushed out of the room as it was made known to me that I was late for dressing for the wedding.  Rushing out of the room, I found myself alone in a department store/country club, with two male friends, one from my past and one from my present, who were assigned to get me to the church on time - so to speak.  We were literally running up the down escalators with heavy old suitcases filled with my gown and honeymoon attire.  My mom and daughter were no where to be seen.

Suddenly, we were lost.  And I discovered my gown was hanging out of the suitcase getting escalator grease all over it.  I discovered the guys were clueless and starting to get upset.  I called my mom and she talked to them giving them instructions on how to help me get ready for the wedding.

Suddenly - as all dreams do, there is never a smooth transition to any scenes - I found myself in an elegant, all wooden hallway of the "Club" and popped into my room with only minutes to spare to get made up and dressed for the wedding.  My mom was calling frantic that I'd be late, yet my male companions were of little help. 

My make up was running from the heat and I discovered they had packed all the wrong stuff.  While I was trying to make THEM comfortable, I kept calling for my daughter to help and suddenly all hell broke lose in the corner.

Looking over to the corner of the room, I found a baby elephant (yep - I think this is where the Bob Marley Tea comes into play) that was sent to me as a wedding gift.  The baby was frantic and running all over and the guys were nearly berserk.  I told them to get the baby out ASAP because it had to poop (oh yeah, I know this is weird) and it had to go outside.

The guys thought I was insane and they could not understand how I knew the baby had to go, and on top of that, they could not find the door.  Finally, half in my dirty gown, makeup running, I hit a button on the wall that lifted the entire wall like a garage door and the little elephant went tearing out, trailing two men on a leash behind it. 

As I watched, the elegant hallway gave way to being outdoors and the baby found some gravel in the shade to do it's business.  The look of relief on it's face was endearing and the guys were in shock that the entire wall opened up and the outdoors magically appeared.

I woke at that point, exhausted from the dream, hoping for another few minutes of sleep - but the phone rang and I had to get going.

I think this is what happens when you can't sleep and mix the Bob Marley tea with the melatonin tablets!  Your dream analysis is more than welcome!

TTFN

Jackie

When did outside become inside?

Vacuuming the patio

As I was vacuuming my patio this weekend (screened in, tile, no carpet - yet), for the third time since June 1, I had to ask myself what was going on here?  Why am I suddenly, and regularly, now vacuuming my patio? And when, exactly, did outdoors become indoors?

My patio is outdoors. Granted, it is attached to my house and it does have cushioned furniture on it, but it is OUTDOORS.

Outdoors, things get pollen on them, dust blows on them, cotton wood fuzz collects on the ground all because it IS the outdoors.  When you are outdoors, you can look down and see dirt - right?  Sometimes you see pebbles, grass, ants and the random spider.  And outdoors, stuff gets wet when it rains. That is what we expect, right?  We expect patio cushions to be wet after a good rain, to be dusty from time to time, and to have an ocassional spiderweb running from leg to leg of the chair.  Patios also used to be hot, cold, damp or whatever was happening outdoors in the non-patio area.  And we accepted that.

The most we expected to do to our outdoor places, was an ocassion broom sweeping and dry-rag dust off of the furniture.  Sometimes we bought a new candle. 

Well, on my patio - that used to be "outdoors", there is now finer furniture than ever before and it has come to my attention that this nice stuff looks rather unpleasant with a layer of pollen all over it, and with dirt on the floor, and with the ocassional dust web/spider web connected to it.  So it must be cleaned.  Regularly.  I suppose.

The new table, made of wicker has a beautiful glass top that keeps things stable from the bumpy wicker texture, but also scratches easily.  So - we need placemats on the table (one long scratch made its way onto the table before anyone noticed that someone didn't use a placemat).  The pollen and dust shows up very vividly on the glass, so it must be attended to almost daily.  Funny, the glass tables in my house have the same issues.  You'd have thought that I'd know better, right?

Then, my darling hubby noticed that the beautiful BLACK wicker furniture frames really should be vacuumed weekly to keep them from collecting dust and pollen.  He pointed out that the woven structure of the wicker traps the yellow/green pollen very nicely and soon it will be difficult to clean the frames, unless we vacuum them weekly.

My DH also noted that the lovely upholstery we selected, should be vacuumed regularly to keep IT clean and free from dust and pollen and spiders and outdoor stuff.

Looking around, I decided we needed some lamps on the patio, near my chair, so I can knit, needlepoint or read when it gets dark - outside.  Now, we are shopping for outdoor "artwork" and carpets!

While I was picking up light bulbs at the home store, I paused at the display of outdoor gas heaters - the kind you see at restaurants and events where they try to keep warm spots for OUTDOOR events in the cooler season.  I'm thinking one or two of those will be perfect to keep me warm, on the patio, when it gets cooler outside.

To deal with the hot, hot, muggy weather this weekend, I considered keeping my sliding door open onto the patio to allow the A/C to leak out to the patio to make it more bearable to be out there on the new furniture, relaxing OUTDOORS.  Something told me that might be a bad idea, so I didn't.

I've also been looking around for canvas covers for all this nice, new patio furniture, so that it can be safe during the winter periods.  I guess taking the cushions inside won't be enough.  Keeping the wicker protected is very important THEY say.

My final thought on this (ok maybe there will be more to come, so it might not be the FINAL thought, but I'm thinking it is close) is when it threatened rain yesterday and I dashed outside to pick up the upholstered cushions on the lounge and matching chair so they wouldn't get soaked.  I even considered taking the huge hammock down to keep the canvas from getting wet. . . .

I think we've lost our minds.  At least at my house.  I know that some people really need the extra space outdoors and use a patio or porch to get added space for living, but in my case - - -really?

I am blessed to have almost 6,000 sq. ft. of INDOOR space that is temperature contolled year round, clean (mostly), bug free (mostly) and nicely furnished.  Why then, do we feel compelled to move to an outdoor environment and try to make it as nice as if it were indoors?

The more I think on this, the more insane it sounds.  Come on people, don't leave me out here on this one alone.  Others must do it too, because I see all the stuff in the home stores, online, in catalogs, and at home shows that cater to making OUTSIDE more like INSIDE.  What are we doing?

Hey, look.  I'd like to chat with you more on this subject, but I think I just saw some dust settle on the table outside so I gotta run.  If anyone knows of some doodad that will help me keep the pollen IN the plants, the dust 50 ft. from the house, and all bugs a mile away, please post. 

With Swiffer in hand, heading toward the patio - again -

TTFN!

Jackie
(who seems to be her own worst enemy)