When did outside become inside?

Vacuuming the patio

As I was vacuuming my patio this weekend (screened in, tile, no carpet - yet), for the third time since June 1, I had to ask myself what was going on here?  Why am I suddenly, and regularly, now vacuuming my patio? And when, exactly, did outdoors become indoors?

My patio is outdoors. Granted, it is attached to my house and it does have cushioned furniture on it, but it is OUTDOORS.

Outdoors, things get pollen on them, dust blows on them, cotton wood fuzz collects on the ground all because it IS the outdoors.  When you are outdoors, you can look down and see dirt - right?  Sometimes you see pebbles, grass, ants and the random spider.  And outdoors, stuff gets wet when it rains. That is what we expect, right?  We expect patio cushions to be wet after a good rain, to be dusty from time to time, and to have an ocassional spiderweb running from leg to leg of the chair.  Patios also used to be hot, cold, damp or whatever was happening outdoors in the non-patio area.  And we accepted that.

The most we expected to do to our outdoor places, was an ocassion broom sweeping and dry-rag dust off of the furniture.  Sometimes we bought a new candle. 

Well, on my patio - that used to be "outdoors", there is now finer furniture than ever before and it has come to my attention that this nice stuff looks rather unpleasant with a layer of pollen all over it, and with dirt on the floor, and with the ocassional dust web/spider web connected to it.  So it must be cleaned.  Regularly.  I suppose.

The new table, made of wicker has a beautiful glass top that keeps things stable from the bumpy wicker texture, but also scratches easily.  So - we need placemats on the table (one long scratch made its way onto the table before anyone noticed that someone didn't use a placemat).  The pollen and dust shows up very vividly on the glass, so it must be attended to almost daily.  Funny, the glass tables in my house have the same issues.  You'd have thought that I'd know better, right?

Then, my darling hubby noticed that the beautiful BLACK wicker furniture frames really should be vacuumed weekly to keep them from collecting dust and pollen.  He pointed out that the woven structure of the wicker traps the yellow/green pollen very nicely and soon it will be difficult to clean the frames, unless we vacuum them weekly.

My DH also noted that the lovely upholstery we selected, should be vacuumed regularly to keep IT clean and free from dust and pollen and spiders and outdoor stuff.

Looking around, I decided we needed some lamps on the patio, near my chair, so I can knit, needlepoint or read when it gets dark - outside.  Now, we are shopping for outdoor "artwork" and carpets!

While I was picking up light bulbs at the home store, I paused at the display of outdoor gas heaters - the kind you see at restaurants and events where they try to keep warm spots for OUTDOOR events in the cooler season.  I'm thinking one or two of those will be perfect to keep me warm, on the patio, when it gets cooler outside.

To deal with the hot, hot, muggy weather this weekend, I considered keeping my sliding door open onto the patio to allow the A/C to leak out to the patio to make it more bearable to be out there on the new furniture, relaxing OUTDOORS.  Something told me that might be a bad idea, so I didn't.

I've also been looking around for canvas covers for all this nice, new patio furniture, so that it can be safe during the winter periods.  I guess taking the cushions inside won't be enough.  Keeping the wicker protected is very important THEY say.

My final thought on this (ok maybe there will be more to come, so it might not be the FINAL thought, but I'm thinking it is close) is when it threatened rain yesterday and I dashed outside to pick up the upholstered cushions on the lounge and matching chair so they wouldn't get soaked.  I even considered taking the huge hammock down to keep the canvas from getting wet. . . .

I think we've lost our minds.  At least at my house.  I know that some people really need the extra space outdoors and use a patio or porch to get added space for living, but in my case - - -really?

I am blessed to have almost 6,000 sq. ft. of INDOOR space that is temperature contolled year round, clean (mostly), bug free (mostly) and nicely furnished.  Why then, do we feel compelled to move to an outdoor environment and try to make it as nice as if it were indoors?

The more I think on this, the more insane it sounds.  Come on people, don't leave me out here on this one alone.  Others must do it too, because I see all the stuff in the home stores, online, in catalogs, and at home shows that cater to making OUTSIDE more like INSIDE.  What are we doing?

Hey, look.  I'd like to chat with you more on this subject, but I think I just saw some dust settle on the table outside so I gotta run.  If anyone knows of some doodad that will help me keep the pollen IN the plants, the dust 50 ft. from the house, and all bugs a mile away, please post. 

With Swiffer in hand, heading toward the patio - again -

TTFN!

Jackie
(who seems to be her own worst enemy)