This is what happens when you have too much Bob Marley Relax Iced Tea before bed

Those of you who know me, know that I dream a lot.  Mostly nightmares, but sometimes not.  I dream so vividly, that I can feel things, smell things, dream in color and often know I'm dreaming while the dream is going on.  Lots of times, I have recurring dreams.  So here is one for those of you who like to interpret dreams or just don't want to feel like you are all alone out there with weirdness!

In the early morning hours, between 5:30 and 8:00 a.m. (I looked at the clock a few times) I dreamt I was in a big church with my mom, who passed away when I was 27, and my youngest daughter who is in her late 20's now.  Turns out we were looking at the church for the possibility of holding a wedding there - my wedding. 

This is where I first got disoriented because I tried to tell my mom and daughter I WAS already married, but they would not hear of it.  We toured the church and I vividly saw my self humoring them, going through the motions thinking how fun it would be to have another wedding, party and dress and all.

We walked from one part of the church, directly into a room full of ladies who happened to be girls from my high school days.  Not really my friends, but girls I knew.  I was suddenly aware that this was a bridal shower for me and one of the girls in charge was also confused.  She thought the shower was for someone else, but was going to be a good sport and let me be the "bride" at the event.  No one else seemed confused, and my mom and daughter thought this was all going as planned.

Suddenly, I was being rushed out of the room as it was made known to me that I was late for dressing for the wedding.  Rushing out of the room, I found myself alone in a department store/country club, with two male friends, one from my past and one from my present, who were assigned to get me to the church on time - so to speak.  We were literally running up the down escalators with heavy old suitcases filled with my gown and honeymoon attire.  My mom and daughter were no where to be seen.

Suddenly, we were lost.  And I discovered my gown was hanging out of the suitcase getting escalator grease all over it.  I discovered the guys were clueless and starting to get upset.  I called my mom and she talked to them giving them instructions on how to help me get ready for the wedding.

Suddenly - as all dreams do, there is never a smooth transition to any scenes - I found myself in an elegant, all wooden hallway of the "Club" and popped into my room with only minutes to spare to get made up and dressed for the wedding.  My mom was calling frantic that I'd be late, yet my male companions were of little help. 

My make up was running from the heat and I discovered they had packed all the wrong stuff.  While I was trying to make THEM comfortable, I kept calling for my daughter to help and suddenly all hell broke lose in the corner.

Looking over to the corner of the room, I found a baby elephant (yep - I think this is where the Bob Marley Tea comes into play) that was sent to me as a wedding gift.  The baby was frantic and running all over and the guys were nearly berserk.  I told them to get the baby out ASAP because it had to poop (oh yeah, I know this is weird) and it had to go outside.

The guys thought I was insane and they could not understand how I knew the baby had to go, and on top of that, they could not find the door.  Finally, half in my dirty gown, makeup running, I hit a button on the wall that lifted the entire wall like a garage door and the little elephant went tearing out, trailing two men on a leash behind it. 

As I watched, the elegant hallway gave way to being outdoors and the baby found some gravel in the shade to do it's business.  The look of relief on it's face was endearing and the guys were in shock that the entire wall opened up and the outdoors magically appeared.

I woke at that point, exhausted from the dream, hoping for another few minutes of sleep - but the phone rang and I had to get going.

I think this is what happens when you can't sleep and mix the Bob Marley tea with the melatonin tablets!  Your dream analysis is more than welcome!

TTFN

Jackie

When did outside become inside?

Vacuuming the patio

As I was vacuuming my patio this weekend (screened in, tile, no carpet - yet), for the third time since June 1, I had to ask myself what was going on here?  Why am I suddenly, and regularly, now vacuuming my patio? And when, exactly, did outdoors become indoors?

My patio is outdoors. Granted, it is attached to my house and it does have cushioned furniture on it, but it is OUTDOORS.

Outdoors, things get pollen on them, dust blows on them, cotton wood fuzz collects on the ground all because it IS the outdoors.  When you are outdoors, you can look down and see dirt - right?  Sometimes you see pebbles, grass, ants and the random spider.  And outdoors, stuff gets wet when it rains. That is what we expect, right?  We expect patio cushions to be wet after a good rain, to be dusty from time to time, and to have an ocassional spiderweb running from leg to leg of the chair.  Patios also used to be hot, cold, damp or whatever was happening outdoors in the non-patio area.  And we accepted that.

The most we expected to do to our outdoor places, was an ocassion broom sweeping and dry-rag dust off of the furniture.  Sometimes we bought a new candle. 

Well, on my patio - that used to be "outdoors", there is now finer furniture than ever before and it has come to my attention that this nice stuff looks rather unpleasant with a layer of pollen all over it, and with dirt on the floor, and with the ocassional dust web/spider web connected to it.  So it must be cleaned.  Regularly.  I suppose.

The new table, made of wicker has a beautiful glass top that keeps things stable from the bumpy wicker texture, but also scratches easily.  So - we need placemats on the table (one long scratch made its way onto the table before anyone noticed that someone didn't use a placemat).  The pollen and dust shows up very vividly on the glass, so it must be attended to almost daily.  Funny, the glass tables in my house have the same issues.  You'd have thought that I'd know better, right?

Then, my darling hubby noticed that the beautiful BLACK wicker furniture frames really should be vacuumed weekly to keep them from collecting dust and pollen.  He pointed out that the woven structure of the wicker traps the yellow/green pollen very nicely and soon it will be difficult to clean the frames, unless we vacuum them weekly.

My DH also noted that the lovely upholstery we selected, should be vacuumed regularly to keep IT clean and free from dust and pollen and spiders and outdoor stuff.

Looking around, I decided we needed some lamps on the patio, near my chair, so I can knit, needlepoint or read when it gets dark - outside.  Now, we are shopping for outdoor "artwork" and carpets!

While I was picking up light bulbs at the home store, I paused at the display of outdoor gas heaters - the kind you see at restaurants and events where they try to keep warm spots for OUTDOOR events in the cooler season.  I'm thinking one or two of those will be perfect to keep me warm, on the patio, when it gets cooler outside.

To deal with the hot, hot, muggy weather this weekend, I considered keeping my sliding door open onto the patio to allow the A/C to leak out to the patio to make it more bearable to be out there on the new furniture, relaxing OUTDOORS.  Something told me that might be a bad idea, so I didn't.

I've also been looking around for canvas covers for all this nice, new patio furniture, so that it can be safe during the winter periods.  I guess taking the cushions inside won't be enough.  Keeping the wicker protected is very important THEY say.

My final thought on this (ok maybe there will be more to come, so it might not be the FINAL thought, but I'm thinking it is close) is when it threatened rain yesterday and I dashed outside to pick up the upholstered cushions on the lounge and matching chair so they wouldn't get soaked.  I even considered taking the huge hammock down to keep the canvas from getting wet. . . .

I think we've lost our minds.  At least at my house.  I know that some people really need the extra space outdoors and use a patio or porch to get added space for living, but in my case - - -really?

I am blessed to have almost 6,000 sq. ft. of INDOOR space that is temperature contolled year round, clean (mostly), bug free (mostly) and nicely furnished.  Why then, do we feel compelled to move to an outdoor environment and try to make it as nice as if it were indoors?

The more I think on this, the more insane it sounds.  Come on people, don't leave me out here on this one alone.  Others must do it too, because I see all the stuff in the home stores, online, in catalogs, and at home shows that cater to making OUTSIDE more like INSIDE.  What are we doing?

Hey, look.  I'd like to chat with you more on this subject, but I think I just saw some dust settle on the table outside so I gotta run.  If anyone knows of some doodad that will help me keep the pollen IN the plants, the dust 50 ft. from the house, and all bugs a mile away, please post. 

With Swiffer in hand, heading toward the patio - again -

TTFN!

Jackie
(who seems to be her own worst enemy)

Hey Mom! Do you have handcuffs at your house?

Should We Even Be Talking About This?

The phone rang.  It was my youngest daughter.  "Hey mom! Do you have handcuffs at your house?' she asked.

"Uh. . . that's a trick question right?" I replied, then quickly added "no. . not so far as you know. Why do you ask?"

That got a laugh out of her, and once you realize she is now a police officer, the question wasn't as kinky as you might have been led to believe.  What she really wanted to know was did I have HER handcuffs at my house?  She had stopped by and changed at my place and thinking she'd left them here in the rush to her shift. The fact that her question was worded as if I'd assume were talking about HER handcuffs, was the funny part. 

On her end of the phone, I can only imagine her rolling her eyes and saying "eweeeew! yuck!" in head, while she played along with me.

We laughed about this for a bit, then hung up and it struck me how odd it is to have certain conversations with your kids, even when they are almost as old as you (I maintain that I stopped aging long ago, and now my kids are getting old enough to be my sisters and brother).

This reminds me of the time I was cleaning out my pre-marriage and pre-weight gain lingerie drawers while my oldest daughter was visiting.  I was laying out beautiful nighties, etc. (I'll leave this part to your imagination so my kids don't have to hack into my blog and delete this) and my daughter was taking a few things that suited her, when her husband walked in the room. 

He looked at the lacy stuff laying around, and she showed him a few things and he said "Wow!  Those are pretty!  Where did they come from?"  And the look on his face was priceless when she said, "Oh from Mom!  She doesn't need them anymore!"  He then looked at me, blushed and said to us both "Oh great.. .that's a visual I really didn't need!". 

Then quickly realized how that comment sounded and he tried so hard to get out of the pile of poop he stepped in by saying "OH GOD!  Not that Mom wouldn't look great in. . . I mean. .  I just can't. . . .now when my wife is wearing that. . .OH GOD!....I'm getting out of here!"  And out the door he bolted.  I have no clue what became of those things and really don't need to know.  I can let that one alone for all our sakes.

Yep.  Having kids who are almost my age really makes for interesting conversation. 

I remember the time when my then-young step-son came into my room holding something behind his back and said "Hey, Jackie!  You LIKE fur, don't you?"  That is an entirely different post for an entirely different day.

TTFN
Jackie
(who really is so psychic!)

Objects in the mirror; change in blog name

Yesterday, while driving, it occurred to me that I had forgotten the perfect name for my blog that I thought of long ago.  There it was, right outside the window on the car mirror:  Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.  How crazy is that?  Why aren't the objects in the mirror just as close as they appear to be? 

I've always wanted that saying as some sort of article title, tag line or quote on my business card, and when I started my very first blog, it left me completely until yesterday. Just goes to show you I don't look at my right side mirror very often!

First of all, WHY do they (car manufacturers) do that?  With all our technology, you'd think they could make a mirror for the passenger side of the car that shows the REAL size and distance from the object to you. 

This little feature on the cars has haunted me since the day I first got behind the wheel in driver's ed oh so long ago.  Exactly HOW MUCH closer is this object?  Just a bit?  Quite a bit?  RIGHT NEXT TO ME?  How can I ever trust it?  What moron thought this is a good idea? OH GOD, I'll never trust my right-side merging and can I really believe that the driver's side mirror is telling me the truth?  Arrrghh!

Back in the day, there were no outside mirrors on cars, and then there was only one, on the driver's side.  Finally, some safety guy, or insurance person, or mother came along and said "we need a mirror on the other side too!"  But, maybe that mirror should be misleading, just to keep a little excitement in the driving experience!  Yeah, that's it!  Let's keep it fun!

So who made that decision to put in a funky mirror that distorts the image to make it appear farther away giving me a false sense of security?  Who I ask?

The newer cars have cool things in the mirrors that light up when someone is in your smack zone.  The closer they come to your zone, the brighter the lights get and some even beep.  So, if you look in the distorted mirror, you think the car is farther away but the lights KNOW the truth.  The light sensors shout "danger, danger - don't believe what you see in the mirror!"

Odd, eh?

Well, if I were an English teacher, or a philosophy teacher, I'd use this sentence as a class assignment.  It's a goodie.  Think about how it actually pertains to our lives, in a metaphorical sense.

The objects in the mirror are usually the things behind you, right?  Stuff from your past.  Looking back on your past, don't some events or situations seem LARGER than they really were?  Or, do they seem smaller than you thought at the time? 

We don't get any blinking lights that go off and say "hey! that old stuff is sneaking up on you again and it's getting close!  There's gonna be a big bang here!"  Memories are always conjured up with filters on them.  Either we make the story bigger, worse, more drama, or we minimize what happened.  We pick and choose what we remember, for the most part.  And HOW we remember it.  We give memories new or continued life if we keep talking about them, writing about them, dwelling on them.  Some are good, and some need to be given a proper burial and let go of completely.

So there you have it!  My blog name has been changed to what I originally wanted it to be.  And if you have any thoughts about the car mirrors, memories or whatever, leave me a comment.  By the way, be careful while driving, and keeping old memories - be sure to watch for the signal before the big bang!

TTFN!

If it itches, scratch it!

I just read a book call Spontaneous Healing  by Andrew Weil who talks about the body's ability to heal itself.  After all, it is how the human race, and most living things, survived.  You get cut, your skin heals.  You get an infection, and your body sends little white blood cell soldiers to attack and repair.  Your skin is constantly renewing and replacing old skin.  Your body wants to survive and wants to be in a state of wellness. This is a great book!

So that brings me to my itch.  And why I scratch it against everyone else's admonishing "LEAVE THAT ALONE!"  What the hell sense does that make?  My body is sending me a signal:  something is bad here,needs help to repair so pay attention to this area! Scratch me! Now, please! (FYI - this is NOT in Dr. Weil's book!  It is my own revelation about how the human body works).

Think about this.  If I swallow wrong, and start choking, which is my body's normal reflex to save itself.  It is a series of violent spasms set off by my brain after it says "holey crap, we're losing oxygen fast and we gotta get this damn thing outta here".   Not one person in the room will say "hey Jackie! Stop that extreme coughing and hacking!"

When I cut my finger, not one person will say "hey! don't press on that - just let it bleed!"  Nor will they say, "Stop that sweating! Right now!  You don't need to sweat!  I'm sure you'll cool off your internal organs and brain some other way."

But when you have an itch. . .now, that's a different story, eh?  Stop scratching!  Quit that!  You'll make it bleed!  God, you are making ME itch now!

Well, this is how I feel about that.  If I itch, I WILL scratch.  And I have been.  This year, for the first time in my life, I have developed eczema on my legs that turns into hives.  I've soaked in oatmeal baths, used all manner of creams, sprays, lotions, and have had steroid shots and pills.  Through all of it, I continued to itch and only scratching brought relief.  So I scratch.

Did it bleed?  Yep, it did.  Did it scab? Yep, it did.  Did it bruise from such crazed scratching?  Yep it did.  Did it heal?  YEP IT DID.  All of it.  And I felt better while scratching and after scratching.  That is what God invented scratching for!  In case you get an itch!

I've had plenty of time to think about why the body itches in the first place.  Something bad is inside and wants out.  It wants out so badly it will erupt and nudge, and jiggle your nerves until you help it out by scratching it right the hell out of you.

I actually believe that by scratching, you send some signal to the brain saying "Hey buddy, I'm helping you out as much as I can here!  Here's the place!  Yep, right here!  Send white blood cells!  Dude, you aren't sending enough!  What if bleeding and open sores happen?  Will you send more little white cell soldiers then? Good, because here comes a bleedy sore for you!  Yeah buddy, right here right now". 

And the brain GETS IT!  It says "finally, you moron!  I've been nudging your nerves all day now to get you to scratch here to help the blood flow faster to that area with the yucky stuff, and finally you listen to me!  Here's some relief for ya sister!  And stop listening to those people who say "stop that itching".  What the hell do they know?  They are not your BRAIN!"

So that's my take on it.  Not very scientific, except for the part that the body was meant to survive, be healthy and reproduce.  And I know it sends me signals to help it do that:  hunger pangs mean feed me, sneezing means get this crap out of my nose, pain in my ear means turn the music down, and itching means . . .scratch me!

Can you deny this?  Go ahead.  Tell me your thoughts. Just don't tell me to quit scratching, cause I won't!

TTFN

Why are "annuals" called that, when they don't come back every year?

Let's just talk about this crazy word for a minute.  When we talk about annual plants, that means you have to buy them fresh and new every year.  You can't just plant them once and watch them pop up again every spring.  Who, in their right mind, decided to call them annuals? 

In my mind, the plants that come back every year, are annuals, like this definition of Annual from the dictionary:

adjective

1. of, for, or pertaining to a year; yearly: annual salary.

2. occurring or returning once a year: an annual celebration.

 

Got that?  "Returning once a year.  Yearly".  Well, that is NOT what happens with THOSE kinds of plants.  The kind of plants that need to be replanted each year should be called "quarterlies" or more like "3-monthlys" for they really only last about 3 months and you gotta replant them every season.

 

I was talking about this with my daughter the other day we wondered how did these plants ever survive in the beginning?  If they don't come back in the next spring, that means they just completely die.  They don't sow any seeds that sprout back up in the new season.  Or if they do sow seeds, why don't they just grow right there where they were dropped?  They don't leave roots behind to re-sprout.  They leave nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Zero.  Yet somehow, magically, they are here now. 

 

So where does the fresh crop of "3-monthlys" come from?  I think they come from seeds, but who gathers them?  And if they can be gathered, why can't the plants just drop them in the dirt, scattered by the wind, or bird poop, and grow the next year?

 

I am wondering if no one harvested the seeds, if the annuals would be gone forever?

 

Perennials, on the other hand, are plants that live for MORE than 2 years.  They appear to die out, but return each growing season.  Actually, they continue to grow, albeit so slowly, all year through stem or root systems.  So they seem to be named correctly, according to me.

 

It's the "annuals" that I just can't grasp.  Like, how it all got started - who figured it out and how they managed to collect the seeds before all the flowers were gone forever.  Smart little cave people!  Or, maybe it was the aliens. . . hmmmm....still could be.  Every year, the aliens stop by earth and drop off a fresh batch of "annual" seeds to . . .umm...Burpee and. . .Andersons. ...yeah, that's it.  Aliens.

 

Let me know if you KNOW where the real, true source of the "annual" seeds come from each year, or how it all started in the beginning. 

As far as I'm concerned, the 3-monthlys come from aliens and that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

TTFN!

 

 

Getting my Feng to Shui in my sewing studio

My sewing projects have come to a stand still in spite of the awesome new fabrics I've just brought home from New York, several sewing group challenge deadlines looming and a promise to sew for some Leonberger friends.  I have new trims, buttons, threads and a crap-load (yep - that's a lot) of new patterns piled high, yet I can't get my Mo Jo going. I finally figured out what was going on.  

Walking the dog today, I had an idea about this standstill in activity.  It must be that the feng shui in my studio is off!  Of course! That had to be it. 

When I first moved into my current home and was able to turn a stand-alone apartment into a sewing (aka Poker) studio (a girl cave) I had the furniture situated with my chair in the middle facing east, putting my big desk in the center of the room so I could walk around all 4 sides of it for cutting ease, etc.  For a few years, I sewed regularly.

Well, I got bored with that arrangement and decided I wanted to face looking out the sliding glass door to watch the deer graze and look at the woods.  So I moved my desk 45 degrees and had my back to the entry door, facing south.  This placement opened up the room more, and I started planning a way to get a new cutting table in the room.

But, the whole thing was awkward.  Nothing got done, crap piled up everywhere and not one poker game even finished in the money :(   So today, I moved the furniture around in the room again, going by "feel" instead of by logic.

The desk got moved up against the east wall, and my chair faces east again.  Even though it looks smack into the wall, I'm closer to the glass window, and as I type this a young buck is nibbling leaves only 100 feet from me.  I can actually see him with my peripheral vision, and if I just turn my head so slightly, I can see him in full view from my east facing chair.

In the middle of all this, I got out my feng shui book and checked a few important elements of this art of positioning furniture, colors, numbers and images for success, health and happiness and I discovered that my Kua Number is 4 (based on date of birth and sex- Male/female, not how much I've been having lately).  Here are my best items for personal growth:

• Wood is my element (my floors are hardwood, my desk is wood, my pencils are wooden, my door is wooden, and my studio is IN the woods!
• The SUN is my Trigram (trigrams are root symbols of the I Ching) and there will be more on that in another post
• Best color for my home is blue/green (note to self - get some paint soon; goodbye white and oyster colored walls)
• Best direction for personal growth is in the southeast -which is exactly where I have placed my desk today! 

Once I get all the boxes, fabric and junk picked up off the floor, I'll post a photo.  Now, if I don't get motivated to sew, I guess I need to paint my room blue and green (sigh. . .not my favorite colors).  If that doesn't help my sewing Mo Jo, I'll read the next chapter of the feng shui book.

And, I think I need to read further into the book to see if need to change the orientation of my PC desk - for better results at Poker.  Hmmmm....I might even need an entirely separate room and set up for that feng shui!

Go ahead, you disbelievers, poo pooh this is if you like, but the principles of feng shui are ancient guidelines and practices attributed to the Chinese, that use the invisible lines of energy present in everything, to create a harmonic flow of these 'currents".  There's a lot more to it than just that, but you get the idea.  A great book on this is "Total Feng Shui" by Lillian Too.  Link to Lillian's web-site

Hey, most of us have no clue how an email gets into our PC, or how a show gets onto our TV right?  Well,this is the same thing, kinda.  And I want every advantage I can get to make life easier, happier, healthier and more prosperous, so I'll move my desk, put a picture of dragon under my mouse pad, and put some crystals in each corner of my room.  Stand back, I can feel the chi flowing!

Now for the sewing. . .

TTFN!